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I Should Have Never Gone To College
Yes, you read that right. I should have never gone to college. Not only did I go to college once, I decided to go a second time and get a masters degree. Now I am $103,000 in debt and I just left a teaching job that only paid me $43,000 a year and have spent…
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Don’t Look Outside Your Cult!
When I was younger I had friends from all the friend groups, the parking lot “F” dudes and “F” chicks, the “Preppies,” the “Goths,” and the “Jocks.” I was and am pretty opened minded when it comes to people. My church friends would be nice to me at face value and some of them would…
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Religion Choices
Just a reminder that sometimes I may repeat myself because middle age and menopause makes me not always remember what I have already said. Religion has always been at the forefront of my mind since as long as I can remember. When you are raised in a specific religion it is all encompassing. For some…
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Dear Cancer Supporter,
Quit being a narcissistic supporter for your loved one with cancer or other terminal diseases. It is not about you. You will not be blessed with the right thing to say. Your religion and beliefs do not matter. Why do your words, about my sickness, need to make you feel better? They don’t make me…
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Survivors Guilt Is Real!
Something I never understood was survivors’ guilt. I had heard people talking about it but I never really gave it much thought as being relevant until I survived cancer. I was in my early 50’s when I was diagnosed with Melanoma and a couple years after that was Breast Cancer. Because my breast cancer diagnosis…
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I Finally Knew I Would Be OK
I have had cancer twice. I call my Melanoma Cancer 1.0 and my Breast Cancer 2.0. I may refer to each one of them that way. Anyways, this also has had an influence on my guilt of leaving my religion and that is what this post will be about. For years, well even decades, I…
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The Patriarchal Blessing
I am jumping ahead a few years to the age of 14-ish. I honestly don’t remember the exact age but it was around then. This was also the time that I really started to lash out and skip church. This day was the escalation of that. I knew something wasn’t right. This day was the…
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The first real mental struggle
I didn’t always hate going to church. I loved going and hanging out with my friends. I liked the primary songs when I was young but I hated it when they made me sing in front of the congregation and I really hated it when they would ask me to do a “talk” and speak…
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Starting to talk about it.
I have sat to write posts so many times and I always find myself thinking about things but not actually writing. I push it off that I am busy but I seem to have some sort of barrier to sit down and write. This is a lot to process and has taken nearly 50 years…