Yes, you read that right. I should have never gone to college.
Not only did I go to college once, I decided to go a second time and get a masters degree. Now I am $103,000 in debt and I just left a teaching job that only paid me $43,000 a year and have spent the last 5 months looking for a job and so far nothing. Mind you I have sent over 50 applications for not only remote teaching jobs but also jobs at the hospital and other companies near me and remotely.
My $103,000 student loan did not start that high. It was all originally $45,000 and the rest is interest. I owe now more than twice my loan. I have also paid $42,000 towards my debt over the years and I still owe this much. I don’t mind paying for what I borrowed and a little bit of interest but this has gotten out of control. I have contacted my student loan company for years and have asked how many IDR payments I still have and they can NEVER give me a number. So I will probably die with nearly $100,000 of student debt.
That is not even the main reason why I say I should have never gone to college. What I get paid with my degree compared to what many of my non college friends get paid for their jobs is about the same. Some get paid more. If I was not teaching in a private school I would have gotten about $15,000 more. I wish I would have just stayed at the Hospital and moved up. I would probably be making 2-3 times more. Most people my age are and a lot of them don’t have a degree and student debt. What a waste. I can’t afford to work in the teaching field anymore so I had to leave and try to find something different in my 50’s. My age alone will make another obstacle to finding a job.
I also had to get out of teaching. Money being the first problem but I found myself not fitting into the atmosphere anymore. In the beginning of my undergraduate degree I had a plan to go all the way with my PhD. I thought that I wanted to become a Professor. I did get a Masters degree and dabbled in some online teaching for a local University. After my 1st semester of teaching remotely I was asked by the head of the department to teach on campus. I wasn’t sure so I told him I would think about it. In the meantime I was required to go on campus to a faculty meeting. It was my first and only meeting on campus. I asked what the dress was and he said casual as no students were on campus. I went in some black jeans and a plain hoodie. For me this was dressed up since I wasn’t in leggings or sweat pants.
When I walked into the meeting I immediately felt out of place. Everyone else, except one other, were dressed in business casual. I stood at the door and got some awkward stares and I had to find someone to sit next to. I saw the other person not dressed up and an available seat next to him and that is where I chose to sit. During the meeting (which could have been a Power Point in an email), the speakers kept getting interrupted with off topic questions and discussions from the same half dozen faculty members. Their demeanor and the way they spoke and interacted with some of us was so uncomfortable. They were so full of themselves and I just sat there thinking, “what the hell am I doing here?” That meeting lasted like 90 minutes and I could not get out of there fast enough. This was not the place for me. I knew that as soon as I left. Needless to say I turned down teaching on campus. I did teach another 2 semesters online and then the school merged with another school and they closed down my location. I knew that being more than an Associate Professor was not going to happen. I did not like the attitude of some of the other teachers and I didn’t and still don’t want to work with that. The funny thing is that a Professor’s salary is still about the same as my husband’s. My husband never went to college. He is really good at what he does and he doesn’t have student loans.
I feel like I chose college because I was lost and didn’t know what to do and that seemed like a natural next step. I wasn’t getting married like a lot of my friends at 18-25 and at the time it was pushed on everyone to go to college to make your future brighter and make more money. Most of the people that went to college with me are making the same as everyone else. A small handful are in the 6 figures but for the most part…not worth it.
The other issue is that college made me angry and disliked people. The political fighting was insane. If you had a Professor that had high political views you knew it and they spewed it. Sometimes to the fault that the whole class time would be wasted on political talk that had nothing to do with the class. I learned the hard way with one of my teachers to not say an opinion that was different from hers. I wrote a paper that was supposed to be our opinion. I backed it up with valid sources from our library. I ended up getting a C- with a note that said, “were you even listening to my lecture?” I proceeded to go up with my paper at the end of class and asked her why my opinion paper was not valid to her. She said that yes it was my opinion but I should have used her as a source and backed up what she talked about. I told her that seemed to be her opinion and not mine. She just looked at me and said nothing. Thank goodness I was able to still drop that class because I dropped it that afternoon.
If you are unsure about college because you are being pressured please do some searching and see what you actually need. Some professions need college but more don’t. Be a good person and accepting of others. Don’t stay within a group of people that make you mad at everybody. Learn to love yourself and your values and choose your life to fit into your world. Don’t try to fit into the world you think you need to fit in.
Don’t be in your 50’s like me and finally taking control of your life choices. I wish I would have never gone to college.